Saturday, October 11, 2008

Need More Stress?

Yes I know I have not blogged in a week, shame on me. I am just VERY busy considering I have midterms this week with one exam down and four more coming...Yes four plus a quiz.....all of which I am not ready for but have no time to study for. I administered vaccinations for five hours today, had to attend a church meeting, have a friend visiting me all day tomorrow, have a fly/ladybug problem in my apartment, have papers to grade for my TA position, etc...but enough of my ranting. Here are some tips for people who need more stress in life:


"Advice for folks who do not already have enough stress in your life - Here are a few more clinically proven methods to stay stressed or to increase your stress level.

Don't exercise.
Exercise wastes a lot of time that could be spent worrying.

Eat, drink and smoke anything you want.
If cigarette smoke cannot cleanse your system, a balanced diet is not likely to do it either.

Gain weight.
Work hard at staying at least 25 pounds over your recommended weight.

Take plenty of stimulants.
The old standards of caffeine, nicotine, sugar, and cola will continue to do the job just fine.

Avoid soft, sensitive "woo-woo" practices.
Ignore the evidence suggesting that prayer, meditation, yoga, deep breathing, and/or mental imaging help to reduce stress. The work ethic is good for everyone, always!

Get rid of your social support system
Let the few friends who are willing to tolerate you know that you concern yourself with friendships only if you have time, and you never have time. If a few people persist in trying to actively care about you, avoid them.

Exams ~ Classes ~ Sports ~ Work ~ Friends ~ Dating ~ Family ~ Goals ~ Expectations ~ Peer Pressure ~ Responsibilities 5 Stress & The College Student © ~ National Health Ministries ~ PC(USA) ~ Created 7.2004 / Rev. 2. 2006Exams ~ Classes ~ Sports ~ Work ~ Friends ~ Dating ~ Family ~ Goals ~ Expectations ~ Peer Pressure ~ Responsibilities Exams ~ Classes ~ Sports ~ Work ~ Friends ~ Dating ~ Family ~ Goals ~ Expectations ~ Peer Pressure ~ Responsibilities 6

Personalize all criticism.
Anyone who criticizes any aspect of your work, family, dog, room, house, or car is mounting a personal attack. Do not take time to listen,be offended, and then return the attack!

Throw out your sense of humor.
Staying stressed is no laughing matter, and it should not be treated as one.

Males and females alike - be macho – or al least stoic!

Never, never ever ask for help, and if you want it done right, do it yourself!

Become a workaholic.
Put work before everything else, and be sure to take work home evenings and weekends. Keep reminding yourself that vacations and time off are for sissies.

Discard good time management skills and work/study boundaries.
Schedule in more activities every day than you can possibly get done and then worry about it all whenever you get a chance.

Procrastinate.
Putting things off to the last second always produces a marvelous amount of stress.

Worry about things you cannot control
Worry about the stock market, earthquakes, the approaching ice age, you know, all the big issues.

Become not only a perfectionist but set impossibly high standards...
And either beat yourself up, or feel guilty, depressed, discouraged, and/or inadequate when you do not meet them."

(copied from pcusa.org)

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